I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
