I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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