Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
