distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
