so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
