he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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