She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
