I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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