you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
