Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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