69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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