That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
