I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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