Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dicks are not precious.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
