Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
