Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
