So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have aggressive nipples.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
