He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
