You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
