I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
