Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
