the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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