Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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