Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
