You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
