i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
