I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
