I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
