Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize