There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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