Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
