***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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