I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
