Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
