Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
