Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
