Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Oh god it's open bar.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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