can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
