your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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