I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
