Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
