so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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