Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
A bitchslap is in order.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
