dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i was born a porn star she said
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
