You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
