Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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