don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I need to calm my uterus...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
