I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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