My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
