Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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