I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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